CHAPTER ONE

2009

Coming home was always the hardest part, harder than leaving. He was dithering at his own front door with worse jitters that when he was flying out. But he loved both – the coming home and waiting, lined up with his mates, for take-off, hearing the deafening roar of a Typhoon FGR4 and the adrenalin coursing through his system like the Ecstasy he used to take when he was younger.
  He'd kept his arrival time vague to minimise the fuss. One year Tina had put a gaudy welcome home banner over the front door. It was half past four now so Max would be back from school and Amy would be awake too. He hoped they'd be glad to see him; last time they'd taken a while to get used to him but they were older now. He looked down the street; all quiet, no twitching curtains. He ran his hand through his hair and straightened his jacket. A breeze stirred the overgrown acacia in the front garden and he looked round nervously, blood pumping in his ears. Christ, he must keep it together. He flexed his shoulders and told himself to relax then he pressed the bell. There was silence and he was instantly disappointed but that was reassuring, he really did want to be home then. He hadn't been sure on the journey when he'd been sitting still and had too much time to think. He rang again and heard footsteps coming rapidly down the hall. His heart beat harder and then she was hugging him and he was breathing in the smell of her hair as if it were oxygen.
  'John, you're here! I thought you'd be much later.' She pulled away and looked at him seriously, searching his face, checking him over. 'Are you OK?'
To his relief she didn't wait for his answer. He didn't know if he was all right, he felt shaky and bone tired. Instead she turned and called through the open front door, ' Max, Amy, Dad's home.'
  He could never quite believe she was his wife and had been for ten years. She was so warm, so gorgeous and just good, a good person. Much better than him.
  'Come on then, let's go in.' John said.
  Tina laughed. 'Yeah, look at us on the doorstep, they'll all be watching.'
John took a last look up and down the quiet street and shut the front door.
  'They're a bit weird round here. Some of them are OK though.' She hooked her long dark hair behind her ears.
  'What, some of them aren't OK to you?'
  'No, not that. It's just they aren't that friendly but I guess we haven't been here long. They don't really know who you are. Probably think I'm a single parent.'
  'Well I'm back now for good. So stuff them.'
  'I can't believe it's for good John.'
  'You know it is. I've had enough of it. Max! Son come here.'
Max was standing at the end of the hall, his face in shadow. He didn't move.
  'Max?' John said
  'Maxie, come on honey and say hello to Dad.' Tina put her arm round Max's shoulders and ushered him forward.
  'There's my big boy. How far d'you come up to me now?' John pulled Max to him and measured Max's height against his body. 'Up to my waist! Woah you'll be taller than me soon.'Max smiled at last and buried his head in his fathers stomach. Where's your sister then?'
  'In the garden'. Max looked up at his father. Such clear bright eyes, John thought. My son. So innocent. 'We've been watering seeds but now she's just throwing it around.'
Tina came in from the garden carrying Amy.
  'Give her to me, I need a cuddle from my princess.' John said.
  'She's all wet.' Tina said.